what am I?

sometimes i feel like the whole world is turning their backs at me. sometimes i feel like all my problems will never end.

i was raised to respect others, care for others, not giving trouble to others and try to be the best i can to make others happy. so, if this is how i am towards other people, why do i feel like people are not doing the same share of kindness towards me. my dad had always been behind my back at all my decision. when i didnt do well in something, he didnt scold me, but he celebrated those things i did well in. after he had gone, it was easy for people to take advantage of me. but now i have my husband. he keeps me sane and thinking rationally. thank God for that.

some people don't take me seriously, or things i say seriously. they just let me worry myself like crazy.

who am i to them?

a way to go

sometimes i wonder, why is it so hard for some people to understand things that is going on in their lives. i think i had a pretty easy life (before marriage). it was easy and fun. yes, i had gone through difficult times, and sleepless nights, but it was more fun than not. i had my heart broken a few times...i had to lift myself up seldom, but the important thing is, I DID. i had my life crushed once, and starting from that, i never let others get control over me. i decide. I. ME.

but i know it's difficult. but once you get the hang of it, you'll swift through anything like candy on a stick.

don't let yourself down.

now now..

as people say, whatever happened, happened for a reason. and i agree. i guess we cannot go through life regretting the past or thinking too much about the future. the past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift, that's why it's called a present.

it's never too late to do something different in life. it's never too late to change. i have, and will keep on doing it if i need to.

why is it so hard sometimes for some people? even though they do deserve the best of things in life..

stuck in a rut

a friend of mine is stuck in a rut called relationship. she's in love with a man who also loves her with all his heart, but his mom cannot and will not accept her into the family. she is devastated, confused and heartbroken.

when we were young, we go through relationships not caring about other people, family members or friends as long as we're together. but as we grow older, we realize that being married doesn't only mean being together with the man we love, but it involves a lot of people. being married means we join ourselves with our partner, his family and his friends. love is blind, and we will do all our best to make things work even though we know that it's not meant to be. but as muslims, we have to learn to let go and accept God's way and sometimes letting go is better than holding on to things we are unsure of.

i tried to advise my friend, told her it's better to get out from the relationship and move on with her life, rather that sticking to something that have ran out of glue. the man will not leave his mother for his heaven is under her feet, and if we force it to happen, it's not something we do as Muslims. but she said until he says enough, and until he breaks it off, she will not budge from the relationship. it's so sad that she's willing to let go of her pride and honour for a man with a mother who will never accept her. it breaks my heart to see she's willing to sacrifice her future for him.. yes i know she loves him, but sometimes love alone isn't enough.

what is there for me to do? i guess i'll just have to stick by her decision and pick her up when she falls into the well...because that's what friends are for. (thanks choi)

a new beginning

it's a new beginning.
a new day.
a new post.
with the perfect life and the perfect family.

alhamdulillah i was able to demolish the past that has been haunting me for quite some time. life seems so unreal when the story of my unwanted past was still hovering on the web. now it's all gone and i'm so glad.

i have a great husband, who loves me with all his heart. a wonderful and handsome baby boy, whom i love more than my own life. and another instalment to the family is coming soon in january.

stay tune for more of me, chicky!